Relaxing into Fear
We all know the feeling of fear. Fear manifests as the the fight-or-flight, all-consuming, viscerally-activated, cold-blooded feeling that has kept our ancestors alive for centuries. When faced with the task of outrunning a wild animal, or choosing whether or not to stray from your tribe, this response was extremely helpful!
We may be especially familiar with the crazy intense feelings of stepping outside of our comfort zone- we get offered a challenging new job or project, choose to leave a secure but soul-sucking job for the unknown, finally decide to "put ourselves out there" and be seen, make a decision to change an aspect of ourselves or our lives, feel the desire to move or make a life change, step up to speak in front of an audience- whatever it is you are experiencing in your journey of growth. These changes seem like a good idea until we are IN IT, and all of a sudden, millions of objections and reasons why it's all a bad idea begin to flood our consciousness. All of these events and changes, and so many more, trigger the instinct-based reptilian brain, or the "critter brain".
This is the part of our brains (located in the brain stem) that is completely dedicated to running programs that keep us alive and keep us safe. This part of the brain LOVES our comfort zone. It resists change. It creates fear of change and discomfort for the sole purpose of keeping us alive. After all, for our ancient ancestors, changes in any part of ourselves or our environment could mean death! But in our modern world, progress and growth in ourselves and in society cannot be made without change. When the critter brain is activated, everything else in the brain comes to a halt. Creativity, expansive thinking, executive function, innovation and abstract thinking- which are controlled by the prefrontal cortex- are shut off when the critter brain is activated.
This fear-of-change phenomena has also been called "the terror barrier". When it is happening, it truly feels like a giant wall or a block inside your mind that makes you think, "Well, this is probably a bad idea and nothing good can come from changing things now. Maybe later". And it will keep happening, and probably keep you stuck, until you can begin to notice what is happening and understand why your brain is so resistant. As an antidote, we can start to look at this fear straight on and become the observer of fear rather than the one consumed by fear.
We require the ability to feel fear and do the things anyway to grow, to evolve, and to become the person we have been called to be in order to achieve what we know we are here to achieve. Fear comes with the territory of having a soul mission and carrying out a purpose-driven, meaning-filled existence! The more you move through the terror barrier the easier it gets. It actually becomes quite a fun and thrilling game! When we begin to understand WHY we have fear (our primitive brains trying to help us not die), we begin to strengthen our ability to relax into the fear rather than attach to the fear. Below I've outlined a few simple strategies that I have learned in my own journey out of my comfort zone and into the unknown, thus far.
Strategies for Relaxing into Fear
1) 5-5-7 BREATH:Stimulate the vagus nerve and activate the parasympathetic nervous system through a simple breathwork exercise called the 5-5-7 breath. Fear causes and is caused by the activation of the sympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic nervous system, however, signals relaxation and safety when activated. We can actually "trick" our bodies into feeling safe by acting as if we are safe (for example, having the time and space to take deep, relaxed, intentional breaths). To activate the parasympathetic relaxation response and relax the critter brain anytime, anywhere, simply sit with a tall spine, gently close your eyes and begin to breathe into your lower belly with the following pattern: 5 second inhale, hold for 5, 7 second exhale. Repeat ten times or as long as you need to feel visceral calmness. Setting a timer for 2-5 minutes and practicing the 5-5-7 breath is a perfect mini-meditation as well.
2) FUTURE-ORIENT. The fear response is happening right here, right now, and seems so overwhelming that there is no room for creative, positive, future-oriented thinking. Your desired results exist in the future, after all. Remind your higher faculties what it is you are going to create! In the throes of fear, dare to journal about at the good things that are in store for you on the other side of fear. Ask yourself, "What good could come from this?". Write about what it will look like and feel like to accomplish exactly what it is you have decided to do and the details of what is possible for you to create. Sitting down to practice a mental rehearsal of your future desired state with this creative vision in mind is another great mind+body strategy to re-activate your creative faculties and higher consciousness.
3) SWITCH TO LOVE. The fear response is a low-vibratation, contracted, emotional response that will not serve your highest good if you become attached to this fear-based reality of "what if something bad happens". In the midst of fear, send your reptilian brain lots of love. Thank this part of your brain for being so concerned about your need for love, safety and belonging, that it would actually try and stop you from trying new things at all costs. Make friends with this part of your brain! As you go through your journey of growth, you will most likely become well-aquainted. Become the observer of this response with curiosity and love, without becoming attached to the visceral reactions and thoughts that may be happening. Choose to acknowledge the fear, send gratitude, and continue to move forward. Have a conversation with your brain: A simple "I see you, I acknowledge you, I thank you, I love you" is a good place to start. The more you thank the fear and love the fear, the more you will begin to savor this feeling because it signals that an opportunity for growth is at your fingertips!